As many of you probably know, one of the biggest drawbacks of sitting your haunches down at McDonald’s and enjoying a delicious tray of tallow and suet-based delights is the lack of visual stimuli to help you avoid sharing shame-filled glances with fellow patrons. Until now.
According to an Oct. 2011 article in Los Angeles Times, which we were too chubby and lazy to read until now, the fast-food giant and grey sweatpants magnet is set to launch the McDonald’s Channel. The digital network targeted at dine-in customers will include local news and entertainment, such as spotlights on upcoming TV shows and albums. After all, what band doesn’t want its fanbase to consist solely of McDonald’s customers with a lot of spare time on their chubby hands. It’s a win-win.
The McDonald’s Channel, which we’d like to be the first to dub “the Man Boob Tube” or “the Moob Tube,” will be rolled out slowly during the next few months, similar to how many of its customers enter and leave the restaurant. Soon 800 McDonald’s restaurants in Southern and Central California will contain what might just be the most depressing reflection of where society is headed since the launch of Spike TV.
